It's A Date
by theadoptedbrewster
Summary: Emily tells Hotch about her decision to leave the BAU.


Emily Prentiss awoke with a start, her heart pounding as she snapped out of her recurring nightmare. It'd become almost a part of her life as she glanced over to see the red glow of her bedside clock. She wiped at her eyes tiredly before dragging herself out of bed. She gripped her porcelin sink as she splashed some cold water on her face. She cleaned up before crawling back under her covers, a small black cat curled up beside her. She stroked him softly, the tugs of sleep creeping up on her, a slow presence emmerging from the shadows.

The wedding was bittersweet for the brunette, she'd danced with each one of her team members, her family. She held them all close, never wanting to let go of any of them. She loved them all, but this was her decision. Her mind was made up, but it didn't help the ache in her chest whenever she thought about leaving them. At the wedding as they danced, she leaned in to each one of them, telling them not that she was leaving, but whispering exactly what each member of her team needed to hear from her. She'd remember everything about her team members, she had squeezed tightly to them at the wedding, memorizing their every detail. She felt a fell tears fall to her pillow and quickly wiped them away. She closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. She wanted it to be tomorrow, she wanted to talk to Hotch about this.

Instead of the sound of her alarm, it was her phone that woke her up. She rolled over to reach for the device, nearly knocking it off the nightstand before she answered it. She groggily mumbled out a greeting, hoping she was coherent.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Her Unit Cheif asked and she propped herself up against her pillows.

"No, no, it's fine Hotch," She said, slowly prying herself out of bed, "we did say first thing." She added as Sergio followed her down to the kitchen.

"Where did you want to meet?" Hotch asked as Emily starting making herself coffee, the phone pressed awkwardly between her ear and her shoulder. She thought for a second, not knowing what kind of outcome this meeting would end in. She realized she'd prefer not to be in the public eye for this.

"Do you still know your way to my place?" She asked, nearly dropping the phone as she started the coffee maker.

"Of course, I'll see you there in about a half an hour?" Hotch asked and Emily stopped to think for a minute before replying.

"Sure." She said, making the realization that it was Sunday and she didn't have to go to work. Her Unit Chief was coming over but after the dress last night she really wasn't up for anything more than sweat pants.

"Okay, see you then."

"Bye." She said quietly before hanging up and putting the phone down on the counter.

After taking only one sip from her mug she went to the bedroom to get dressed. She wasn't about to get all dressed up, so she applied little make up and put her hair up before pulling on her favorite pair of sweats. She dug around for a shirt, only in her black satin bra and pants. She walked over to her dresser, pausing to take a look in the mirror.

She ran her fingers over the scar marred the skin of her lower abdomen. The raised pink skin was forever a reminder of what had happened to her. A constant reminder of her "death". She was declared dead at one point, her heart had stopped she knew. She didn't think she'd ever forget Reid's reaction to that fact. It hurt her, the way they'd treated her after she returned. They must have known it wasn't her decision, she had no control over what had happened. And when she was laying on the floor of the cellar, squeezing Morgan's hand, she was sure she was going to die. She was so terrified because she wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye to any of her team. She was happy that someone was there with her, someone who cared about her, but she had no idea of the outcome, and she feared every breath might be her last.

Going into hiding was hard as she was all alone from seven months, in an unfamiliar place, scared to even leave her apartment some days. She lived in fear for seven months, not knowing if she'd ever see her family again.

When she came back, she didn't know what her team would think. She'd hoped that they'd be happy to see her. But, she knew it couldn't have been that easy, and it was a rough road to feel accepted again. She continually asked how they were doing, listening to them and making jokes instead of dealing with everything that was going on with herself.

She'd put her team before her own needs. She'd lied to her therapist, someone who could have perhaps helped her through her PSTD that was never diagnosed. She'd been working this job long enough to know the signs. Hotch was the only one she'd told about how she'd really been feeling. Ever since then she'd been debating leaving the team. It'd been a thought since she got back, but at that point she thought that she may act on it. She just couldn't do the job anymore, she used to be so involved and content with going to work everyday, but lately it had just become an uphill battle to even go. She'd wanted so badly to be in the BAU, she and Hotch had had some issues to work through when she'd first joined but as time passed she suddenly gained a family. The people she worked with became the people she trusted. And she loved them all dearly. But they just didn't understand her anymore, she didn't know how to do the job anymore. She needed a change in scenery in her life.

She focused back on her tall frame in the mirror and began to trail her hand upwards, her eyes blurring with a few stray tears once her fingertips ghosted over the clover shaped burn. It was lighter then the other scar, easily covered up. She never wanted her team to ever see either of her scars. She would never want them to be reminded of the nightmare she went through with Doyle.

The doorbell rang and she jumped, not realized how much time had passed before she quickly pulled on a purple button up shirt, buttoning as she went to answer the door. She glanced in the peekhole, seeing a familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes, she swung open the door.

"Hi." She greeted, gesturing for him to come in. "Do you want something to drink?" She asked, casting him a small smile.

"Sure." Hotch replied, as she watched him. It was still odd to her when she saw him out of a suit. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, almost looking like a different man then the one she'd come to know at work. She suddenly wondered whether to call him Aaron or not.

She poured two glasses of water, noticing that Hotch was still standing when she passed him his.

"Come on, let's sit on the couch." She said, as he followed her over to the beige couch that faced her small television. They sat in an almost comfortable silence as they both sipped their waters.

"Emily," Hotch started, putting his glass down on her coffee table, being sure to use a coaster. Her head perked up at the use of her first name, meeting his eyes. "I'm going to miss you." She was not expecting him to say that to say the least. She sat there quietly, pushing back her bangs.

"Is it that obvious that I want to leave?" She said with just a hint of a smile.

"It is to me." He answered quickly.

"I need to, Hotch." She said quietly, biting her lower lip. "I need to move on, I think it would be good for me."

"You have to do what you have to do, Emily." He told her, reaching over to stroke her hand, which she hadn't noticed was trembling.

"Thank you." She said, quickly blinking back tears she was sure he'd already seen. "For everything, Aaron." She smiled at him, watching as he flashed his rarely seen dimples at her in return.

"We'll make it official tomorrow." He said, before he just sat there, his hand not moving for a long moment. She felt a weigh lifted off of her shoulders, she was excited and terrified to be leaving the job she'd done for so long. And when she looked up into her soon to be ex-Unit Chief's eyes, she knew she was making the right descision, because she was making the descision for no one but herself.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" Hotch asked, and she thought for a moment, before shaking her head. He pulled his hand away before they both stood up. When they did, he hugged her. She wasn't expecting it, but it was exactly what she needed in that moment, so she hugged him back.

They pulled away from each other and both walked towards the door before Hotch turned around, nearly bumping into her.

"Emily, would you like to come over for dinner tonight?" He asked suddenly. "Beth and Jack will be there too, I just thought that you might enjoy some company." He added, smiling at her.

"I'd love that." She told him.

"Okay, I'll see you at 6 then." He said before he said goodbye and was gone. She was grinning, just happy that she wouldn't be eating dinner alone for once. She may have been leaving her job, but she assured herself that she would always be there when her family needed her.

But, right now, she just had to put herself first.


End file.
